You can experience issues with your erections and significant stress related to erection worry at any age.
Erectile dysfunction that is not due to cardiovascular concerns can be caused by psychological interference. Perhaps you’ve had the frustrating experience of a primary care doctor or urologist saying,“it’s in your head.” While very invalidating to those hearing it, it isn’t entirely inaccurate. Yes, it’s a mental barrier, but no, you’re not supposed to just be able to unthink the thoughts that stress you out during sex. We know enough about the mind body connection to know we need specific strategies to help us reframe our expectations, manage our stress, and implement different techniques to focus on the pleasure and mind body connection.
If you worry about erectile dysfunction, one thing to get you started being more relaxed during sex is the understanding that the erection can wax and wean during foreplay. I’ll have clients come to me worried that they aren’t maintaining an erection when they are going down on their partner. This is completely normal, especially when you’re doing an activity that is focused on stimulating your partner and not yourself.
The specific treatments are different for premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction, however what you can expect from my sex therapy approach is the same. We’ll focus on:
- Understanding the physiological process of an erection cycle and orgasm
- Resetting realistic expectations for your erection or your partner’s erection
- Exploring the ways stress about the erection can become more of an issue than the erection itself
- Repatterning behaviors that might seem really commonplace to you and your partner, but can be contributing to the issues
- Learning techniques to sustain an erection through tuning into the mind-body connection and what feels pleasurable
- Navigating conversations with your partner that feel really difficulty
