When I work with people with disabilities or folks dealing with injury or illness, we still cover all the same things we would if physical limitations weren’t one of the barriers. Regardless of pain or physical limitations, people still struggle with communication, knowing what they like, and figuring out how to build desire and connection with their partners. These are everyday topics in sex therapy with me.
Therapeutic Approaches
When physical limitations or pain are part of the picture, here are 5 therapeutic approaches I incorporate.
1) Adaptive Strategies: Adaptations can help you continue to engage in the sexual activity you want to while making a few changes to how you go about doing it. Adaptations can include a piece of equipment, slightly modifying the approach, or changing the angles and positioning.
2) Trial and Error: Based on conversations we have in session, we’ll establish a few different ideas to achieve the same goal. You’ll try them out, see which ones you like best, and then we’ll chat about it in our next session.
3) Downgrading: Downgrading is a technique used by occupational therapists to reduce the difficulty of the task. For example, if there’s a sexual goal you have, I’m an expert in breaking down that goal into achievable smaller goals. This gives you a good place to start from that feels attainable and helps gain momentum in the right direction.
4) Energy conservation: Sex takes energy! This strategy helps you better match sexual activity with times in the day you have the most energy and helps you reserve your energy for sexual activity.
5) Sex Toys: Sex toys are great ways to engage in the same activity while accommodating fine motor limitations, like arthritis. Sex toys can also be adapted so you can hold them. Additionally, I can recommend sex toys that are already adaptive, for example, this toy from Dame includes a loop you can put your fingers into so the toy stays in place.
I value collaboration with my clients as it’s an essential part of the process for achieving your goals related to sex and making sex easier and more fun. Book a 15 minute call to share more about yourself and explore how we can work together to help you have the sex you want!
